11.12.2011
Pieces of Life in pile
11.01.2011
V.
- His WBC count is 0.48! WBC or also known as White blood cells are responsible for fighting infections. Normal value is 4.3 to 10.8 x 10raised to 9 cells per liter. Just imagine that 0.48? Having no bullet to fight all those villains trying to attack you at the same time. Tragic. :(
- Non-Stop fever. I check him as often and as safely as I could and sadly he is always febrile. As much as I wanted to at least let him cool down, his body's not able to fight organisms causing his fever.
- Easy bruising or bleeding. Since baby V is still a baby, he thumbsucks and poor boy, he wounded his fingers and gums that easy. One prick from blood extraction and he bleeds like he's been stabbed.
- Weakness/ feeling so tired. Baby V is one patient who is giving us a hard time inserting an intravenous line cause he had very weak veins, and as a baby, they fear of mutilation so, they go wild when someone tries to touch them. But, that was a few days ago. Now that he's weak, he doesn't even have the energy to feel the prick of the needle anymore. When we were inserting the IV, his parents were crying saying: "Ang anak ko, ni hindi na umiyak nung natusok... Pagod na pagod na siya"
- Weight loss and appetite. V could not eat cause he vomits everything he takes in. Since his confinement, he's lost a lot of weight.
10.05.2011
Empty
I had a hard time going to sleep last night. I kept turning in my bed, positioning myself, putting my blanket on and then removed it after a few minutes and it kept on and on for ours till I finally knocked out. When I woke up for work, I did what I usually do. But somethings just different about this day. I am so quiet and blank.
I thought about money. How people lavishly spend their money on stupid, unnecessary things while I was trying hard to budget mine for I am no longer asking from my parents and I pay some of our bills. My salary isn't that big but it's just enough. But really, I kinda wished to be on the other side for a moment. To be that someone who shops her heart away, who travels and goes to anywhere she wants. I wanted to be SELFISH. I wanted to think of myself only and to get all that I want. Thus, the emptiness knocked once.
I thought about love. I thought of the movies and how perfectly written their love stories were. I thought of how everything was in perfect timing and I thought of mine. It was probably one of the best stories ever written, but difference is, 1. it is true and is not a story but is life 2. the timing is not as perfect 3. we're apart and 4. i couldn't control everything. I wanted to be SELFISH. I wanted to control our situation. I wanted to be spoiled of flowers and chocolates and other things. I wanted movie dates, lots of hugs, out of town vacation. I wanted someone to pick me up after work and someone to kiss me before I sleep BUT I'd have to wait for the right time. I have to let him grow up for us. I have to let him be a better man. Thus, the emptiness knocked again.
I thought about family. I thought of how it feels to be in a complete one. I felt dismayed with people taking their families for granted because of selfishness and pride. I thought of having both parents on your side during your birthday, recognition day, graduation day, wedding day.. And i thought never having mine. Thus, the emptiness came inside me.
As much as I wanted to completely share how I feel, words probably wont be enough. Thus.. I am empty.
Self-proclaimed modelo
P
10.04.2011
Mid-Year Reflections
Kidding aside, this year has been wonderful for me. I remember when I was in the 4th grade (?) I think, my Mom and I was strolling around Megamall when we were intrigued by a stall full of people. Curiously we went near and discovered that was like an astrology and numerology reading stall. During that time, I had a very strong belief in the moon and the stars' alignment so we tried it out. The results were printed out in paper and the descriptions and predictions turned out to be true.
They just based from our birthdays. I remember mine saying that I will be at one point rebellious which later on happened; It also said I had a very strong personality which I believe is true. It also mentioned that number 11 is my lucky number. I did win contests having the number 11. And since it's 2011, I believe that it has strongly proven it's point.
I've had tough years. When we welcomed 2011, I was hopeful. I felt the good vibes. And I prayed for a good year and in the side hoped that this will truly be my year since it has 11 in it.
9.04.2011
Bridal Shower [5.17.11]
As I watched on movies, I had the impression na pag mga bridal shower, may mga kakaibang ganap. May mga paniwala pa nga ako na baka hindi matuloy ang kasal kasi maiinlove yung bride sa stripper (blaming it all in movies). At yun nga, our friend, Tonet was about to be married and siyempre ang mga bakla all out ang effort sa pagpaplan ng bridal shower.
What we planned:
1. Dapat may MACHO DANCER. Siyempre ang mga becklings yan ang number 1 target nila. Ang tanong, san tayo kukuha ng mga ganun? Buti sana kung asa Manila kami at gora lang kami siguro sa Malate meron na. Pero HINDI PWEDENG WALANG DANCER. MAGHAHANAP TAYO.
2. the TITI CAKE. Since may bakeshop sila Nina, we thought na siya na bahala dun para narin makatipid tayo.
3. HOTEL. Believe me, nagcanvass talaga kami. We went to Hotel Roma at naka okray pa ata kami kasi when we asked kung how much yung standard room nila, sabi ba naman ni Manong na looking so confident infront us “Kung yung 1 BEDS po eh nasa 900”. Tinginan kami ng mga bakla! 1 BEDS talga? Pag 1 BEDS ba iisang bed lang ba yun or marami na? Hanggang sa bumulwak na kami sa tawa at mejo npahiya ata si Manong kaya ayun umalis nalang kami.
4. FOOD and DRINKS. Yun naman ang happy ako saming mga bakla, di kami mahilig sa inuman so light drinks lang keri na. So we were thinking kung Tanduay Ice or taste yung Boracay Rhum.
Andaming plano noh? Pero mostly FAIL. hahahha. Bilang kami ay mga nurses, wala kami oras magprepare. At pangalawa, CHEAPANGGA! Wala kaming mga datong! hahahaha. So we only raised enough money for the stripper and food and drinks. Good thing we had Anne’s farm as venue so mejo private parin naman.
THE DAY HAS COME..
Sa ganitong facial expressions malamang alam mo nang anjan na yung dancer. jejejeje
Ang ito naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
There are actually more DIRTY photos but everyone’s sake, I’m not gonna post it nalang. hehehehe. For our eyes only.
Here’s a vid before the incident. hehe.
So that would be all for now. Sa uulitin! hahaha,
<3lots,
ACA.
7.20.2011
Photoshoot’s gone Mainstream
One of the most overrated gadget nowadays: DSLR Professional Camera.
I have always wanted one since I was in love with photography. I basically love pictures and views at kung anu-ano pang ganap. I could ask my mudak to buy me one but ma-pride ang lola niyo, gusto ko pag ipunan on my own. And since may pagka ambisyosa ang loley niyo, ito lang naman ang gusto ko.
Pero, habang nagiipon ako, npansin ko lang. Padami ng padami ang mga may hawak ng ganitong klase ng camera. Syempre, aaminin ko may ingget factor kasi bet na bet ko talaga yung mga ganyan pero napapansin ko din kung maka photoshoot na ang mga loley to the highest level na! Parang nagka SLR lang naging photographer narin?
Nakakainis lang minsan kasi nawala na yung art and love for photography. Naging “in” nalang siya. Parang ordinary nalang. Wala na yung parang magic, yung story na binibigay ng isang photo. At parang nawalan na rin ako ng gana ng magkaroon ng ganito. (50% like ko parin)
Naisip ko lang, pano kaya kung magbago nanaman ang uso. Ano nanaman kaya ang susunod? Video naman? So marami nanaman magiging videographers? Hay nko mundo.
So sa slight na pagkainis ko, naisip kong magphotoshoot. Showing na, hindi porket may SLR ka kaw lang ang may karapatan. Chos! Ayun nga, just wanted to show that you don’t need a high end camera to capture beautiful photos. It’s not the camera naman eh, it’s the MOMENT. (and pati nrin the model, pakak!)
So ito na ang produkto. All photos taken by my Kodak 10mp Digicam. Post processing done at Adobe Lightroom and look at the results naman! Parang HD lang din. O diba!
PS. Wala akong tripod. Patong patong everywhere lang ang drama nyan!
Test shot 1,2,3
Shades by RayBan; Belt turned Headband; At ang lighting care of our window
Sa kwarto ko naman itey at ang camera ay nakapatong sa cabinet.
Believe me, hirap na hirap akong kunan ang sarili ko dito. Kasi gusto ko ma-achieve ang epek na may photographer talaga ako pero yun pala ako lang.
Ako lang kumukuha nito. Super inextend ko ang aking mga kamay.
Eto naman yung mga pinatong ko kung san-san lang.
Diba aura lang?
<3lots,
Aca.